do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
