hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
