Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my liver is dry heaving
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize