She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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