i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
