I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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