I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
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Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
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Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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