Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize