hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
