I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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