Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
