oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
