Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
