Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
