i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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