I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
So vagazzling was a success
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
