I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
