did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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