My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i believe in u and ur pee
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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