i think my tv is drunk
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
