Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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