this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
