nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
