She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Are we still banned from the library?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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