hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
