Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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