He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize