Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
