i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She bit a glass in half.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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