Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize