She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
