I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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