Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize