If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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