Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
