Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
