I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
