STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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