Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
