Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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