The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
