Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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