you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
