Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
