And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
50% drunk capacity currently
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
