you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
