I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Randomize
