I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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