im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
it hurts more in the daytime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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