hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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