We're facebook friends in real life
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize