thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
