i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
