Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
