First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
