I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
