The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
