Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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