I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
