also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I'm really busy with my period
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