Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
