at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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