on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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